Malagant Jones

Played by: Alastair Johnson

Name: Malagant Jones

Origin: Nevada, USA

Father: unknown

Mother: unknown

Titles: you’ve got to be kidding

Previous roles: car mechanic and general miscreant

Current role: employee to Donna Alicia

History: Life started off in Nevada, in a garage to be exact working on anything that had wheels during the day chats up the women at night. Then events took a change for the strange and now he works for Donna Alicia on, well, anything and everything. To quote someone else, Malagant is all about girls, guns and thuggery!


  1. From this biography, are we to assume that Malagant also worked maintenance on the Nevada National Guard’s covert hovercraft division? After all, they wear a skirt at night.

  2. A case of the Panda “eats, shoots and leaves”?

    I have it on good authority that one removes the skirt prior to performing maintenance, particularly when accessing what lies underneath. Although a regulation skirt comes only to the knee and might possibly be lifted for quick access regardless of time of day.

    It would be unkind to assume that the Nevada Guard lifts their skirts any more frequently than other units, regardless of inter-service humor to the contrary.

    1. I’ve never inquired into what Malagant wears at night. nor am I ever likely to do so.

      But I’m sure that whatever he does wear in Nevada, stays in Nevada.

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